Konfessions: Journey to 135

Steps on scale. Scale reads 154 pounds. I look on in horror! “Nah, Cant be…” This scale obviously hasn’t been calibrated in a long time. Steps off scale. Shakes scale. Replaces battery. Steps back on scale. Butt naked. Scale still reads 154. For the first time in my life, I’m appalled by my weight increase. I mean. Yeah…

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Konfessions: My Name is Jade…

I’ve been challenged by my mentor and good friend to put a name to the ugly, negative parts of myself. The woman who lies. The woman who manipulates people. The woman who likes to gossip. The woman who cheats. The woman who will steal your joy. The woman who avoids important decisions to sit in…

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Konfessions: Trust Issues

I hate eating the insides of certain foods. Cookies, Sausages, Brownies, Chicken. Weird, right? I was eating a chicken strip the other day and I was eating the outsides and around it. In my head, my grandmothers’ voice said “stop being childish and eat the whole chicken strip!!”. I proceeded to eat the whole thing and I…

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Konfessions: I Surrender…

Every month, the women’s ministry of my church holds a Women’s Meeting. Its a time for fellowship, prayer and bonding. At the beginning of every year we usually meet to create vision boards. This year the women decided to do something different. Last month, all of the women were asked to spend time with God and allow Him to…

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Konfessions: The Road To Self Forgiveness

2018 was a year of self discovery. My therapist led me on a long journey of navigating who I was and where I came from. I couldn’t believe it took thirty something years to actually sit down and really think about these things. That journey opened up my heart and my mind. I began the process of reconciling with family members and…

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Konfessions: What Am I Going To Do Next?

My supervisor and I are great friends. She’s been my friend/supervisor for 5-6 years and has been nothing short of amazing. Today, she retired. Today was her last day of work. I assisted her with loading her car up with all of her belongings and I sadly said my goodbyes to her. The one thought…

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Konfessions: Loner

Have I been a loner all along?

Why does being a loner feel so good? Am I going through a phase in life? Dining alone and watching people soothes me. Am I the only one who enjoys dining alone? Is this depressive? I’m not sad. Maybe I’m just tired of wearing a mask around people 24/7. Is this truly introversion or is the devil trying to isolate me? Enjoying a quiet evening alone with my thoughts in a bathtub full of bubbles with wine in hand is goals, right? Having circles of friends and loved ones that I adore, but not wanting to be bothered. Is that healthy? In a world where everything is so loud, peace and quiet is welcomed. My son is a lot like me. Am I affecting him negatively? I was sheltered as a kid. Would I have been this way if I wasn’t sheltered? Are you born a loner? Should I work on being a better person? Am I now embracing a part of me that I thought was weird?

Who knows…

What I do know is (as I sit smiling alone at a table in Panera Bread)…

I’m happy at this moment in time.

I feel good…