Everyone has a Bucket List of all of these amazing things they want to do. That’s all fine and well, but I often think of the things I hope to never do. How about an Anti Bucket List. The complete opposite of a Bucket List.
Here are the things I hope to NEVER do before I die (Don’t judge me):
- Sky Dive: Its all fun and games until the parachute malfunctions. No thanks.
- Enjoy Water Activities (this includes snorkeling, swimming with sea life, motor boating, kayaking, etc.): I cannot swim and I am not interested in feeling squishy sea life between my toes.
- Run a Marathon: I’d rather run to the ice cream truck.
- Get Arrested/Go to Jail: I enjoy my freedom. Orange will never be the new black for me. God willing.
- Attend an “Escape Room” Activity: I’ll be honest with you, I’m not a “thinker”. If you are counting on me to successfully put forth the pieces needed to escape the room, we are going to be there forever. I will then get claustrophobic and begin to gnaw at my skin. Not a pretty site. Lets just not….
- Adopt a Cat: I’m severely allergic to cats (and some people) so the chances of me adopting a cat would be NEVER!
- Neglect my Daily Planners for Technology: I have an obsession with daily planners and journals. I collect them and I am giddy to write in them with different colors and codes that only I can relate to. Ill never trade! #NerdLivesMatter
- Lose My Sense of Humor: I am amazed when people laugh at/with me. It gives me great joy to see people laugh at my expense.
- Attend a Haunted Corn Maze Event for Halloween: Do you really think its fun to get lost in a haunted corn maze with Michael Myers at your heels, no food, pitch black dark, the friends you came with disappearing, and wolves with red eyes darting out of nowhere. I’ll pass!
- Ride a Roller Coaster: I enjoy my face as is. Im not interested in my face going south due to accelerated roller coaster speeds.
- Go on a Cruise: I have a fear of being on a boat with no land in sight. The thought makes my skin crawl.
- Discover Meat that is not Pork, Chicken, Steak, or Seafood: I’m not interested in eating Deer, Turtles, Venison, Bulls, Crickets, Rabbits, Humans, or any meat I’m not familiar with from growing up.
- Drugs: Ummmm, do you not remember that 80’s commercial where your brain is the egg that’s being scrambled. I’m good Luv, Enjoy!
For the record – this list doesn’t mean that I think cat owners who run marathons, get arrested, enjoy cricket legs, and skydive their way to Haunted Corn Mazes for Halloween are bad people. They’re just not me. And I think that’s okay. I feel freedom in declaring things I don’t want to do, will not be pressured into doing, and I like the limits I have publicly set.